Couples Therapy
in person Tacoma | online WA, OR & UT
Get to the root of your issues & learn how to communicate.
You’re tired of having the same argument on repeat and you miss the intimacy you used to have.
Your fights sound the same and quite frankly, you’ve heard it all before. Adding on a household and kids doesn’t make it any easier. You used to spend more time together and actually enjoy it. Your relationship used to feel like play; now it’s work. It’s repetitive, and what you’re repeating isn’t fun—it’s getting old.
Connection between the two of you used to be easy and fun. Let’s help you get back to laughing with each other like no one else does.
You know that fundamentally, you love your partner. You picked them for a reason—they compliment you and balance you out. Whether it’s simply due to not having enough time to spend together (hello kids!) or you’ve gotten stuck in a rut, it’s time to pay attention to your relationship so that things don’t get any worse between the two of you. You want to be proactive about taking care of your relationship and look forward to coming home to them—again!
How It Works
Couples Therapy is where you tackle your issues head-on.
We’ll Identify Your Problems, Specifically
Therapy with me is structured and focused. First I will ask you what brings you into therapy. Together, we will explore what, exactly, your problem is, from each of your perspectives. I will give you my input as well, as I watch the two of you interact and listen to your stories. Getting very specific about what the problem is and making sure that we are all working on the same problem is fundamental to successful couples therapy.
Set Specific & Realistic Goals: Start with the End in Sight
I will ask you what you want most of out of therapy, and by when you would like to meet your goals. I want to help you graduate out of therapy as quickly as possible—that doesn’t mean it can’t take a while—simply that the time we spend in therapy is with one goal in mind, always, and that we don’t waste any time.
You Show Me What You’re Struggling with
Too often, therapists and clients waste precious time by talking about their issues, rather than working through them as they’re happening. You will spend most of your time in therapy talking to each other, with my help. That way we kill many birds with one stone—you are always practicing better communication while you’re working through real issues you’re currently having. This will allow me to see what you’re still struggling with and will you get my coaching in the moment. Therapy is where you get realistic practice for game time. We practice for real.
Unpack Your Past, So You Can Enjoy the Present
Typically when couples find themselves having the same argument on repeat, it’s because they are re-wounding each other in the familiar ways they have been hurt before, whether due to a difficult or traumatic childhood, or a previous romantic relationship. Together, your relationship can turn into an opportunity to help heal each other and recognize the unmet needs of the past crying out for attention in the present.
Create an Owner’s Manual for Each Other
I don’t just give you general communication skills. I give you the skills needed to communicate with your person, by teaching you their body language signals and exploring, with their input, which combination of words and touch feel most comforting to them. You will memorize an “owner’s manual” for your partner so that you know how to avoid unnecessarily hurting them and also calm them quickly and effectively. You will learn how to work with their attachment system in real time. This is nervous system co-regulation in action.
Conflict—and connection aren’t a mystery. I’ll show you how to master both.
You’re here to reconnect with your partner and understand how the two of you have become disconnected, distant and even tense with each other sometimes. You picked each other because you are each other’s favorite person, but lately, you’ve forgotten that. Struggling in your relationship doesn’t mean you’re incompatible. It means you have more to learn about yourselves and each other. Couples therapy is a perfect opportunity to fall back in love with each other.
I help couples…
balance household responsibilities
parent calmly & collaboratively
in the sandwich generation
exit the cycle of burnout with each other
support each other’s mental health diagnosis
adjust to a newborn/young kids
blend their families
reconnect as empty nesters
with mixed neurotypes
prepare for marriage
Fall more deeply & securely in love with each other
Frequently Asked Questions
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That depends on your goals—how ambitious they are and what your capacities are with each other. Most couples I see stay for months to years. The earlier you come to therapy, the less likely you will need to stay for an extended period. I do my best to help you work hard with the time you spend in therapy by helping your set specific goals and work with with focus. The rest is up to you.
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I have an office in Tacoma, WA where I see couples in person 2 days/week. I also see couples in person on the weekends for couples therapy intensives. I am licensed in OR, WA & UT and see clients online who are located in the states.
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Your therapy is not covered by insurance. I am not an In Network provider with any insurance.
If you have Out of Network benefits, I will give you a superbill upon request, diagnosing Z63.0-relationship issues and billing service code 90847, family therapy with the patient present. Check with your insurance company regarding reimbursement for those specific diagnosis and service codes. I do not diagnose individuals when doing couples therapy.
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Yes. Please check out my specialty page on high-conflict couples therapy. You may also want to consider a couples therapy intensive.
